MT: Mr. Trump, thank you for taking the time to talk with me during your busy campaign.
DT: Thank you Michael… and hurry up, or you’re fired! I kid. I kid. No actually I’m not. I hope we can talk about the violin, because that’s what I feel like talking about. Have you heard that opening solo from Telemann’s Concerto for Violin – that is like a summer’s night on the roof of my best luxury suite in the Trump Tower. Pure class, glitz, and flash.
MT: Speaking of glitz, I hear you are a big fan of opera and like to attend the MET every year.
DT: It’s a beautiful and opulent place. The music is fantastic. The gala’s full of smart talented singers, and I love to surround myself with the best. I’m highly educated. I’m also talented. You know, I think I would have made a great opera singer. I’m told I look a lot like Caruso.
MT: It was Toscani who once said of Caruso, “By Heaven! If this Neapolitan continues to sing like this, he will make the whole world talk about him.” It seems the whole world is talking about you.
DT: They are! You want to now why? One of the key problems today is that politics is a total disgrace. Good people don’t go into politics. It’s a lot like opera that way.
MT: Ouch! And you’re in politics… [awkward silence]
…So what do you think about the art, opera and classical music these days?
DT: I’ve been more interested in the art of the deal… More money in it. BTW you can buy my book on the Art of the Deal for only $9.89. I also make the best cufflinks in the world.
MT: So tell me what’s on your iPod Mr. Trump.
DT: Call me “The Donald.” I’m really into Trumpet right now. They call my supporters “Trumpeters” – so that’s where I got the idea. I’m listening to the Haydn Trumpet Concerto. Did you know Hayden wrote it especially for Anton Weidinger, court trumpeter to Prince Anton Esterhazy. If I win the presidential election the first thing I’m going to do is commission a Trump Trumpet Concerto. It will be played only by the best. The best!
I used to have a door bell in my luxury penthouse in New York that chimed with the sound of calling trumpets. I had to decorate my foyer to look like an entrance to a palace just so I could keep up with it.
MT: Did you ever play an instrument in school?
DT: I dabbled, but I decided to go into Real Estate instead. More money in it.
MT: There’s more to life than just money.
DT: Michael, you seem like a nice guy, but trust me there is no life like the money life.
MT: Oh, I didn’t mean to…
DT: I know you’re a big fan of The Celebrity Apprentice. Everyone is. The biggest ratings ever. You know musicians do surprisingly well. They’re smart, that’s why. No money, but smart.
MT: Ever thought of doing an Apprentice for musicians?
DT: I’m a bit of a P.T. Barnum. I can make stars out of everyone.
MT: Sounds like a real circus. I hear you use the music from The Phantom of the Opera on your campaign.
DT: I love Andrew [Lloyd Webber]. I think Cats is his best opera.
MT: Cats is a musical…
DT: Don’t interrupt me. Did you know Andrew Lloyd Webber lived in my Trump Tower for 17 years?
MT: I hear it took him 17-years to sell it…
DT: That’s my boy. Ahem ahem ahem ahem. Okay you’re fired.
#satire
#LUDWIGVAN
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