1: Ask Music Director not to call you “Tuba Guy” at orchestra events.

2: Think bigger. My tuba is my power.

3: Commission a Tuba Concerto from a famous composer. Name it, “Thump the Tub.”

4: Convince Music Director to premiere “Thump the Tub” next season. Invite Justin Trudeau and Adrienne Clarkson.

5: Learn how to write a press release and pitch “Thump the Tub” to media outlets. If tuba fame is not attainable, go for tuba recognition.

6: Sell sponsorship logos on the bell. Prove to that the Tuba can be lucrative! (Make trumpets jealous at all costs – showboating pricks)

7: Stop making a mess on the floor with Tuba spit. Buy a cat box.

8: Buy a calendar.

9: Buy a can opener.

10: Eat more Kale

#LUDWIGVAN

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Michael Vincent

Michael Vincent is the Editor-in-chief Ludwig Van and CEO of Museland Media. He publishes regularly and writes occasionally. A specialist in digital media for over 15 years, he has worked as a senior editor and is a former freelance classical music critic for the Toronto Star. Michael holds a Doctorate in Music from the University of Toronto.

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