Nº 1

Remember how your teacher always said, “practice! practice! Practice!” 

Right, but did you notice that shifty look in their eye when they said it? That’s because your teacher was using the oldest trick in the book: Trying to keep you busy practicing, while they land all the plumb gigs.

It’s the modus operandi of all music teachers.

In reality, Professional musicians never practice. They sight-read everything – as often as possible. The less noticeably they mess-up, the more badass they are.

Nº 2

You should try to use all 100% of your brain when you play. Blacking out is normal – you’ll recover the dead brain cells when you sleep.

Nº 3

No one can really tell the difference between a Stradivarius and a Yamaha, so go for the Yamaha. With the extra bucks, you can afford a nice bespoke suit or a pair of Manolo Blahniks. There is no downplaying the importance of getting your appearance in order. If you look like you have your act together, your audience can’t help but assume you do. It’s all marketing.

Nº 4

Reverence is for reverends.

Nº 5

Good posture is overrated. A hunch is fine – Glenn Gould did very well with one.

Nº 6

Playing “under the influence” allows you to release inhibitions and creative blockages. What you lose in technique you gain in courage.

Nº 7

People will always want to believe what you are playing is really difficult. This is the only reason for arpeggiating a chord, or doing a fancy scherzo. Liberace understood this. Also, tussle you hair a lot, and grunt! People can’t get enough of that.

Nº 8

You can safely ignore the conductor.

Nº 9

There is nothing wrong with laughing at the trombones. Everyone does it.

#LUDWIGVAN

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Michael Vincent

Michael Vincent is the Editor-in-chief Ludwig Van and CEO of Museland Media. He publishes regularly and writes occasionally. A specialist in digital media for over 15 years, he has worked as a senior editor and is a former freelance classical music critic for the Toronto Star. Michael holds a Doctorate in Music from the University of Toronto.

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