Oh, the racy world of Renaissance music. Reddit has been buzzing all month about a little-known ditty called “Will you buy a fine dog” by 16th-century composer Thomas Morley. You can hear it here:
Will you buy a fine dog, with a hole in his head?
With a dildo, dildo, dildo;
Muffs, cuffs, ribatos, and fine sisters’ thread,
With a dildo, dildo;
I stand not on points, pins, periwigs, combs, glasses,
Gloves, garters, girdles, busks, for the brisk lasses;
But I have other dainty tricks,
Sleek stones and potting sticks,
With a dildo, diddle, dildo;
And for a need my pretty pods,
Amber, civet, and musk cods,
With a dildo, with a diddle, dildo!
My. My. Besides the fact that Dildo is the name of a Canadian town near and nearby Dildo Island in Newfoundland, one wonders if Morley was referring to the modern day sex toy as we know it?
After some research (Wikipedia), it seems the etymology is not very clear, but there are some theories. The first is that it refers to a phallus-shaped peg used on small row boats. It’s also a sailing tool. The Italian word “diletto” means “delight”, and could also be an origin.
The term was first used in “the Merie Ballad of Nash his Dildo,” which was an erotic poem by Thomas Nashe from 1592.
There’s also a curious oddity from the 17th-century folk ballad “The Maids Complaint for want of a Dil Doul”. You can hear it here.
One thing is for sure… Morely was a bit of a pervert.
You can’t make this stuff up folks.
#LUDWIGVAN
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