{"id":38987,"date":"2016-10-06T12:04:14","date_gmt":"2016-10-06T16:04:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ludwig-van.com\/?p=38987"},"modified":"2017-10-31T13:49:51","modified_gmt":"2017-10-31T17:49:51","slug":"coffee-break-how-not-to-write-a-publicity-bio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ludwig-van.com\/toronto\/2016\/10\/06\/coffee-break-how-not-to-write-a-publicity-bio\/","title":{"rendered":"COFFEE BREAK | A Dramatic Reading Of The Strangest Artist Bio Ever Written"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Khatia
Khatia Buniatishvili (Photo: Esther Haase)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“Khatia Buniatishvili,\u00a0<\/em>shining pianist at the height of her abilities, came into this world in a shower of light during the summer solstice. On a human level, she is attracted more to equinoxes, being smitten by justice and seeking day and night in equal share. By lifting one\u2019s eyes skywards one might notice her playing hide-and-seek with either Venus or Mercury. The cosmos is her garden and it is in its movement that she feels alive, astride a comet.”\u2014\u00a0Olivier Bellamy on\u00a0Pianist Khatia Buniatishvili.<\/em><\/p>\n

Those are a few lines from the fantastic Georgian pianist, Khatia Buniatishvili’s publicity bio which has been making the rounds online since originally being spotted by Norman Lebrecht<\/a> back in 2015.<\/p>\n

Written by writer and French intellectual Olivier Bellamy, we can only imagine how much absinthe went into creating\u00a0it.<\/p>\n

A quick look at her website<\/a> and we find that it is still there, in all its flowery glory.<\/p>\n

Is she a unicorn? A superhero maybe?<\/p>\n

Here’s another line:<\/p>\n

\u201cFor that matter, nothing can be imposed on this young lady of the air whose wing-beats pollinate works and who sprinkles a musical cloud of golden powder to the four winds.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Inspired by its brazen outrageousness, \u00a0the American composer Matt Marks has released a hilarious “dramatic” reading of Buniatishvili’s bio here:<\/p>\n